By Bernie Bell

”Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! “

On the subject of mutant vegetables…….

Some years ago, Mike was harvesting the spuds, when he dug up a potato which looked exactly like a little pair of bollocks!  It was one potato, but had divided and formed in such a way, as to be the shape of…..bollocks!

So, I put it in a box, and sent it to me old mate, Philip, who I knew would appreciate the humour, with a piece of paper with one word on it – ‘Bollocks!’.

Time passed, and, some months later, the box arrived back. I opened it to find…that…the bollocks had each produced a little sprout on the end, and Philip had enclosed a piece of paper, with one word on it ‘Knockers!’.

This became The Tale of the Bollock Knockers, which I sent , with the evidence, to friend Marie, who, being a thrifty, Northern sort, planted it, in the hope of getting some edible spuds.  Not that the bollock/knockers weren’t edible, but – well – we didn’t like to!