In 565 St Columba reported seeing a monster in Loch Ness, here is a poem about Nessie.

Too Messy for Nessie.

There’s a terrible mess

On the shores of Loch Ness

Where the monster’s been chucking her bones.

There’s bonnets and sporrans

all tattered and torn

And a pile of chewed up mobile phones.

There’s socks and there’s shoes

And bits of canoes

And they’ve turned a bit slimy and green

There’s flippers and goggles

And venture scouts woggles

And the fins from a small submarine.

There’s camera gear

Piled up over the years

Rusting away on the shores

And there once lived a man

On the shores in a van

Now all that is left are the doors.

Now you might think that Nessie

Is terribly messy

With her rubbish and pile of old bones

So stop trying to watch her

And stop trying to catch her

It’s her place, just leave her alone.

By Donald Nelson