Bernie Bell

If It Wasnae For Your Wellies
By Billy Connolly
If it wisnae fur yer wellies
Where wud you be?
You’d be in the hospital
Or in firmary
Cause you wid hive a dose o the flu
Or even plurasie
If it wissne fur yer feet in yer wellies!
Wellies they are wunderful
Wellies they are swell
They keep out the watter
And they keep in the smell.
When your sittin in a room
You cin always tell when some
Bugger take aff thur wellies
If it wisnae fur yer wellies
Wherewud you be?
You’d be in the hospital
Or in firmary
Cause you wid hive a dose o the flu
Or even plurasie
If it wissne fur yer feet in yer wellies!
When yr oout walking in the country with a bird
And your strolling about the fields
Like a farmers herd
And somebody shouts “Keep off the grass”
And you think how absurd
(Squelch) you find why all the farmers wear wellies
If it wisnae fur yer wellies
Where wud you be?
You’d be in the hospital
Or in firmary
Cause you wid hive a dose o the flu
Or even plurasie
If it wissne fur yer feet in yer wellies!
Fishermen and firemen there’s farmers and aw’
There’s men who’re digging ditches
And working in the snow
This country would grind to a halt
And not a thing would grow
If it was nae for the workers and their wellies
If it wisnae fur yer wellies
Where wud you be?
You’d be in the hospital
Or in firmary
Cause you wid hive a dose o the flu
Or even plurasie
If it wissne fur yer feet in yer wellies!
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I realised that, as I’m not going anywhere indoors where there are unknown people, for some months I have just been wearing my wellies or my slippers – my other shoes don’t get a look-in!
If it wasnae for ma slippers
What would I do?
I’d have to go around the house
Wearing a hard old shoe.
I wouldnae be as cosy
Naer as comfortable too
If I didnae have ma feet
In ma slippers!
Not the big slipper through…. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rH0xKD0w5Kc&t=253s