Soothing Skills

Pension’s Minister in the UK Government Guy Opperman was inflicted with a torrent of online rants after he suggested that women in their 60s could top up their pension by taking part in ‘extended apprenticeship opportunities’. This idea snatched creatively from the top of his head had led to Opperman being condemned as being out of touch with reality. But is he?

Westray woman Mrs Flett McGinty,61, heard Guy’s words and had her moment on the Road to Damascus.

“It was just the kick start I was needing” commented Mrs McGinty when we caught up with her this week as she attended her physiotherapy session for her bad back (a result of a nursing career).

“Guy is right” she continued ” I have always had a job since I left school at age 16, why should I stop now? “

After an extensive search online Mrs McGinty found just the apprenticeship to suit the needs of 21stC Brexit Britain.

Soothsaying is the art of foretelling events. A 6 year apprenticeship is being offered by the University of Bamborough all done online and from the comfort of your own home. Mrs McGinty already naturally skilled has signed up for 7 years as she will struggle in year 3 when her crystal ball is smashed in an unfortunate occurrence with a cat.

Professor Mick T. Aken who will be guiding the apprentices through their course work explained:

We have found our services as professional soothsayers in constant need for over a year now. Many of our number have been employed as Government consultants and one has secured a lucrative post in the UK’s Brexit team. Others have been snatched up by polling companies and economic advisers. “

crystal ballMrs McGinty is literally looking forward to her studies and has gathered about her the tools of the trade which she will get for a bargain price next year from a Mart Sale.

Reporter: Fergus Graemsay


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