International Women’s Day is on March 8th.

by Fiona Grahame

For all the women who have been written out of history

 Men have contributed a fair wee bit to our nation of Scotland despite being the minority of the species.  Across society they have not allowed their minority status to limit themselves: in the Arts, Sciences and Statehood – Men have battled their way from the safety of the garden shed to emerge as some of the leading contributors in their chosen fields.

The great philosopher Professor Monroe once confessed that she had never fooled anyone however, ‘I’ve let men sometimes fool themselves’

In ancient days women, as we know, were so busy building societies through the essential role of perpetuating the species that the minor roles of learning to write had to be left up to men who basically were sitting around having nothing much else to do except rage war and go about destroying all that species propagation that women had put so much effort into.

Having all this spare time to write about themselves who can blame men for inventing a fantasy world where they rather exaggerated their contribution to society and at the same time writing the role of women out of it.

And women have no one to blame but themselves for this. The famous relationship councillor Prof West summed up the character of women when she said  ‘When I’m good, I’m very good. But when I’m bad I’m better.’

And it is quite comforting that women have never been tempted to exploit the weaknesses of men especially when it comes to the issues men have in handling money. The world famous financier and collector of houses Prof Gabor said ‘I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back’.

And our national Bard, wee Rabbie himself, who was not keen on muckin out the byre or chasing folks for their unpaid taxes but because  Jean was there, and all the other ladies, who were able to provide him with the inspiration for so many of his poetical works we in Scotland have some of the finest love poems in the world.

And so I will now praise men in the most fitting way – through verse:

‘Like Alexander I will reign

And I will reign alone

My thoughts did ever more disdain

A rival on my throne’

The Great Montrose he penned these words

In olden days of yore

Of majestic man and female frail

A notion I will now explore.

Adam was the first of men

And when all of that was done

God saw a flaw, She fixed it then

And woman was begun.

The mighty Samson slew

All foes that dared get in his way

Till the shears of Delilah savagely stripped

His luscious locks away.

John the Baptist, he could speak

And bathed followers in the river

But Salome danced a merry jig

And he lost his head for ever

The Greeks and Trojans fought for years

Great heroes lost their lives

For love of Helen, a wanton wench

Who made sure that she survives

King James the first in danger was

And had to hide in the sewers

With just her arm, Katie barred the door

To save him from his pursuers

When Charlie fled the battle field

To escape our Scotland’s slaughter

Flora rowed him across stormy seas

To be The Prince across the water

Betsy’s big brother drowned at sea

Her invalid father was Captain Miller

But the Queen of Saltcoats seized control

And took over at the tiller.

Dr Elsie Inglis the war office told

‘My good woman go home and sit still’

But France and Serbia accepted her help

Until in Russia she fatally took ill.

Now with girls in pink and boys in blue

Today the glass ceiling holds fast

But remember those women of daring and do

Who were courageous and strong in the past.

So men, don’t be fooled by the fables of old

Where women are weak and spin hay into gold

But stronger for Scotland, united we’ll be

A nation for All, equal and free.