By Bernie Bell

Apparently, some barbarians are continuing to dump clusters of dead geese around the shores of Orkney. I wonder if the Police are taking an interest in this?  If not, they should be.

I have previously stated that I know it’s wrong to curse people, and I do know that it’s wrong to curse people, but……….

I ask the reader to replace the word ‘drake’ with word ‘goose’.

Oh my name it is Nell and the truth for to tell
I come from Coal Hill which I’ll never deny
I had a fine drake and I’d die for his sake
That me grandmother left me and she gone to die
The dear little fellow his legs they were yellow
He could fly like a swallow or swim like a hake
Till some dirty savage to grease his white cabbage
Most wantonly murdered me beautiful drake

Now his neck it was green almost fit to be seen
He was fit for a queen of the highest degree
His body was white, and it would you delight
He was plump, fat, and heavy and brisk as a bee
He was wholesome and sound, he would weigh twenty pound
And the universe round I would roam for his sake
Bad luck to the robber be he drunk or sober
That murdered Nell Flaherty’s beautiful drake

May his spade never dig, may his sow never pig
May each hair in his wig be well trashed with the flail
My his door never latch, may his roof have no thatch
May his turkeys not hatch, may the rats eat his meal
May every old fairy from Cork to Dun Laoghaire
Dip him snug and airy in river or lake
That the eel and the trout they may dine on the snout
Of the monster that murdered Nell Flaherty’s drake

May his pig never grunt, may his cat never hunt
May a ghost ever haunt him the dead of the night
May his hens never lay, may his horse never neigh
May his coat fly away like an old paper kite
That the flies and the fleas may the wretch ever tease
May the piercin’ March breeze make him shiver and shake
May a lump of the stick raise the bumps fast and quick
On the monster that murdered Nell Flaherty’s drake

Well the only good news that I have to infuse
Is that old Paddy Hughes and young Anthony Blake
Also Johnny Dwyer and Corney Maguire
They each have a grandson of my darlin’ drake
My treasure had dozens of nephews and cousins
And one I must get or me heart it will break
For to set me mind easy or else I’ll run crazy
So ends the whole song of Nell Flaherty’s drake.

Nell Flaherty’s Drake lyrics, The Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem

geese in flight
credit Fiona Driver

Bodies of Geese Dumped on Orkney Beach *IMAGE WARNING*

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