At the time of writing…and I looked expectantly at my Twitter feed as I typed that. At the time of writing Boris Johnson , is (allegedly) winging his way back the UK  in order to be saviour of the Conservative Party. Like some form of Knight on a white charger trying to save  a damsel who is frankly well past her sell by date. 

Three, a quick look at my phone again, three current minsters have said they would back him. A man  who may yet be thrown out of Parliament for breaking its rules . One wonders, if this is  the best that the Conservatives can hope for, what exactly is the worst ? 

Sunak hasn’t yet put his hand up to run, ( just checked ) he is probably talking to conservative members focus groups to assess his possibilities. The remarkably vacuous Penny Mordaunt has said she would run , but then again she would wouldn’t she. Someone said that in the Conservative Westminster post code there are those who would have ambition to inherit dust. What about Ashes because economically it is a seriously frazzled treasury that they will be taking over. Allegedly a Labour Treasury minister once left a note for the incoming Conservative minister saying “the safe is empty” this lot would have to say “ sorry burnt it on a whim .”

This is a certainly the most absurd political situation I have experienced in my life time , and I’ve been around a while. A PM who lasts less time than a lettuce in a wig can remain fresh. Lord knows I’m no lover of Jeremy Hunt but he has actually added a measure of stability to the markets in record time (not that his predecessor set a high bar ) and if there is a new PM there is every possibility he will get his marching orders. 

Mind you who will be the next leader? A variety of minor names whose access to self delusion is boundless have whispered their names, you are my dears a states – person  free zone, go back to tiddlywinks, it is at your level. 

So shall we examine those more seriously  suggested as key runners and riders thus far ? 

Mordaunt , possibly has the best credentials. 

“What?” I hear you say, “ how does that equate with what you have just said?”  I would justify it like this. As a former magician’s assistant she is probably used to pulling rabbits out of hats, but in all honestly, given the lack of competence of recent Tory leaders it is  the “ sawing someone in half” trick I am looking forward to. 

“ Jacob are you busy right now?  Be a good Minister  and just lay down there for a moment  will you ?” ( I can hear you cheering, it is unseemly). 

Then there is Rishi, possibly the least electable by those in the ( conservatives) country  if Johnson stands and he is likely to have  constant barracking from Johnson loyalists if he wins.

Then there is the serial liar himself . It is surreal that he is even being considered seriously. At a time when we need someone to think about the country , a self obsessed narcissist delusion monger is not the way to go. Don’t hold back I hear you say, sorry for my reserve . 

I could say, and I think it is true that a Johnson PM would do wonders for Scottish Independence but even as someone who fervently  hopes for that; with people starving,unable to heat their homes  or pay their mortgages it would be too cynical to hope for his return for that reason .

To paraphrase Suella Braverman , not something I do regularly, “ if you make a mistake you need to own up to it, to do otherwise is not serious politics “.  Sounds good, if you have ever made the mistake of believing anything she had said . It is time however for her and the rest of the Conservative  Party to listen to those words .

The Party , all of it,  including the right wing fantasists who  are some of  its members owe this country an immense apology. You could say that those who voted Conservative  in 2019 could be blamed for putting this lot in power and you would be right  but it has been the membership of their Party who with every opportunity to do something more related to sanity listened to and liked the libertarian raving of Truss and Kwarteng  and gave them the keys to the piggy bank . The whole Party should apologise and there is a really good way to do that .

Go for a General Election. You will be punished but perhaps that is what you deserve and need in order to confront the disturbing behaviour that has got us into this unholy mess.